Parents Supporting Children

Support

Parents Supporting Children

Talking to your child about the death of their sibling can be difficult and upsetting especially when you are grieving yourself.

Like adults, children grieve. What is different is the way they express their grief, which will be largely dependent on the child’s age and development level.

Under 3s

Cognitively unable to understand the concept of death
Will sense the reactions of those around them
Might show distress as a result of separation from the person who has died

Ages 3 – 5

Death is seen as temporary and reversible
Very concrete thinkers
May ask the same questions over and over again to make sure
nothing has changed
Can be clingy, regress in their behaviour, demonstrate separation anxiety and experience sleeping difficulties
Tend to express their thoughts and feelings through their play

Ages 6 – 8

Understand that death is irreversible
Think you can ‘escape’ it
Don’t believe it could happen to them
Might show aggressive behaviour, have difficulty sleeping and fear being alone

Ages 9 – 11

Death is understood as final and irreversible
Great interest in the scientific and biological aspects of death
Might appear cold

Ages 12+

Have an adult understanding of death
Death shatters their view of immortality
Might engage in risk taking behaviours in an attempt to test the limits of their immortality
Can be very emotional
Might not share their thoughts or feelings with other family members
Prefer to be with their peer group

Suggested reading

The Dragonfly Story written by Kelly Owen
Stewart’s Tree written Cathy Campbell
Always and Forever written by Debi Gliori / Alan Durant
What Does Dead Mean? written by Caroline Jay & Jenni Thomas OBE
Someone has died suddenly written by Mary Williams OBE
Michael Rosen’s Sad Book written by Michael Rosen

Mindfulness Activities

Mindfulness techniques can be a useful tool to help with grief. Below are two different ways that you can engage in mindfulness activities.

Breathing Techniques

Here are some age appropriate breathing techniques that can be taught and practiced as a way of aiding self relaxation.

Guided Relaxation

Here are some guided activities that can be practiced together as a way of focusing our thoughts and aiding relaxation.

Breathing Techniques

Guided Relaxation

Parents

Supporting Children

Understanding what to say to children can be daunting and if you would like advice on how to talk to your child in age appropriate way, please contact us. If you have any concerns about your child, then you can also refer them for one to one support.

Self-Refer